God’s always doing a 2-for-1. My daughter works at an amazing coffee shop (The Empty Cup), and she and a friend/co-worker were working hard while cutting up behind the counter.
A customer got the giggles, not needing to know what they were laughing about, just catching their joy. And guess what? As she walked out, she left a $100 tip that will go to support adoption. How cool is that?
Laughter blesses everyone, sparks generosity, an adoptive family is blessed, and everyone wins.
Ownership is an incredibly liberating concept. I found a great summary of the case for freedom, choice and responsibility in David Bach’s Start Late, Finish Rich:
“The fact is, you don’t get in life what you wish for. You get in life what you go for.
People choose their lives.
People choose their actions.
People choose their outcomes.
Life is a cause set in motion.
And life is not over until you quit.”
Maybe someone tells me, or I tell myself, “it is what it is.”
The space between my ears is the most valuable real estate I own. When fear, accusation, anxiety, worry, etc., come at me, I have to ask myself what I’m believing and where this story is coming from. In Rising Strong, Brene Brown calls this our “shitty first draft” and encourages us to consider whether our narrative is valid. Are there other ways to interpret the data points or facts? What’s possible here? If there were another way to see this, would I want to know about it?
The first step in renewing my mind is being aware of the chatter and challenging it. It’s your turf. Defend it.
“Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.” Romans 12:2 TPT
Was reading Proverbs 15 this morning and got to thinking about the incredible influence we all have on ourselves. When we speak, we are choosing, we are creating. Which includes the chatter running in our heads. Seems obvious, but are you deliberately choosing to create the world you want, when you speak to you?
“Everything seems to go wrong when you feel weak and depressed. But when you choose to be cheerful, every day will bring you more and more joy and fullness.” – Proverbs 15:15 TPT
Your thoughts on the comment, “it is what it is”? Here’s a few of mine:
It is what it is, except when it isn’t.
It is what it is, except an apology or ownership might go farther in the relationship.
It is what it is, but am I really just saying I don’t care anymore and that’s enough?
It is what you say it is. We all have the power to create. The stories we tell ourselves and others shape our present, our pasts and our futures.
It is what it is, except it’s not. We are not stuck. Nothing is ever really final.
In her book Victorious Emotions, Wendy Backlund offers a simple daily exercise to strengthen confidence and deepen our sense of gratitude. Try it out tomorrow morning and see if it impacts your attitude.
* (or yesterday, depending whether you do the exercise at night or first thing in the morning )
At dinner, near the end of 2018, my friends Todd and Sarah asked, “If you knew that 2019 was going to be your last year on earth, what would you do?” Sure, we’ve had questions thrown out to us like that in goal setting sessions. But this time, it hit me in a new way.
My answer:
What’s your answer?
Bonus Material:
Steps 8 & 9 from 12 step recovery.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Shoot. I was late for lunch with a client today. More than a client, he’s my friend.
Years ago, I read James Hunter’s The Servant and it opened my eyes to what I’m really saying when I’m late.
My time is more important that your time.
What I’m doing is more important than what I committed to doing with you.
I matter.
You don’t.
Ouch.
What a buzz kill for your Friday night. Just think about it. We are always communicating, just not necessarily what we think we are.
Here are three great questions from Crucial Conversations that you can ask yourself when you get stuck.
Whether it’s a personal relationship, a business situation, or working through an issue with family, your answers to these will give you deeper insight into what’s happening in your own heart. From there, you can take steps toward a solution that will be good for all.
You always have options, you sometimes just need a way to see them.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear makes that comment in his new book, Atomic Habits.
How good are your systems, for the things you do every day? You’re certainly functioning with plenty of systems right now – if you’re not getting the outcomes you want, you might consider if the underlying framework actually supports what you’re after, of if changes need to be made.
The attached chart is from Clear’s book and sheds some light on how our small choices (our atomic habits) compound for our good or ill.
Chuck Spicka's Blog 