Can’t keep a secret

/ Chuck Spicka

I’m going to Lebanon later this year, with some friends, to work with a national pastor who’s loving on the Syrian refugees there. While I was asking God about confirmation about this trip, he took me to Mark 7:24, where Jesus was also visiting what we now call Lebanon (Tyre and Sidon). In my NIV it says, “he entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret.”

It’s no secret that the war in Syria has been devastating, and that somewhere between 1.5 million and 2 million refugees are now in Lebanon, a country of about 6.5 million. Said another way, every fourth or fifth person is displaced, unable to stay, unable to return home.

In the midst of all of this, we have the reality of the kindness of God, his present love and care for each of us now, and that he wants to bring hope, life and healing. He just can’t keep a secret.

The 11th commandment

/ Chuck Spicka

My friend Hunter Lindsay likes to say the 11th commandment is “Thou shalt not fake thyself out”.

I remember my tough days of false-self-awareness when people would applaud my vulnerability about my own mistakes by saying, “well, you’re being honest about the issue, so that’s half the battle.” And I was so content to stay at half, and not do the work to go the rest of the way to freedom.

What’s your payoff for staying stuck?

Is there any place you’re not being honest with yourself?

What can you own about your part of the mess?

You might not be able to see all the way to freedom in the area that’s come to mind, but can you start with “willing to change” and invite God into the situation?

New day, new week

/ Chuck Spicka

Here’s a thought for your Monday morning, and your week ahead:

“At the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to say I contributed more than I criticized. It’s that simple.” – Brene Brown, Dare to Lead

And here’s a thought for your year:

“How about this be a year that we work hard to embrace what the Lord has declared over our life and make that the only thing we say?” – Bill Johnson

We get to choose to strengthen and build and encourage others by what we say. We can make the same choice in how we speak to ourselves. Change your language and see if things don’t start to change around you and inside you.

Scarcity & opportunity cost

/ Chuck Spicka

Remember the first principles in Econ 101? The scarcity of resources and opportunity cost?

Today I’m thinking about these concepts in relation to the scarcity of my time and the opportunity cost of wasting the time I’ve been given on a range of emotional options that include, but aren’t limited to, fear, negativity, bitterness, or resentment. Life is too short.

What joy do I bypass, what time do I lose, when I choose to camp out in that space? Sure, tough things come my way, and I’m not looking to numb out emotionally. I’m just saying that the sooner I can catch my self in a tailspin and remember that I have choices, I think the happier I’ll be.

As Sweet Brown would say, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

Facts, stories & speculation

/ Chuck Spicka

This week I’ve been in a couple of conversations where people I care about have created elaborate stories how they’ve been done wrong, how they themselves are broken, or how God has abandoned them.  And the stories make sense, I have empathy, I can see how they’ve pulled their meaning from the facts, as they present them.  And.  It’s just not true.  It’s not the end of the story.

We all have choices to make about how we interpret the facts of our lives and the stories we tell ourselves.  Resist the urge to fill in the blanks.  You don’t have all the data, but here are a couple things to remember:

  1. God is good.
  2. That he loves you means he likes you and he’s happy with you right now, in the middle of your brokenness, weakness, sin, etc. (thank you John Dee)
  3. It’s not over till it’s over, and God is working all things for your good.
  4. You’re always free, you always have choices, you’re not a victim of your circumstances.

Suggested next step?  Read this post from Kris Vallotton.

Awareness, or lack thereof…

/ Chuck Spicka

While my word for the year is Intentionality, I feel like a sub-theme for the month has been Awareness. And, wow, there are ways I am so massively working on this.

For example – stayed overnight in Nashville, at a friends. Using google maps, the pin puts me in front of their house. I can only see the first three of four numbers on the mailbox, but it lines up and looks like their house from what I can remember. My friend had texted, “come in thru the garage,” so I did.

I get inside. I can see thru a glass door into the house and I think, “huh, I don’t remember them having a dog.” And a woman appears who’s not my friends wife, followed by a man who is not my friend. I am super apologetic, it’s 10:30 at night, a stranger in their garage with his overnight bag, laptop and clothes on hangers, ready to crash at their place. I’m so glad they were nice people and I didn’t get shot.

As I said, working on awareness, grateful for people who are becoming love, and of God’s kindness, grace and protection over me as he loves me thru my stoopid.

I’m reminded of Psalm 5:12 which says, he surrounds us with favor, as with a shield.

Tell them who they are

/ Chuck Spicka

We’re around people we love and care about all day, and part of our relational interaction is being influenced by them, and also influencing our friends for their good.

I can try to make that sound like I have this figured out, but alas, I’m guilty of often wanting to tell people what to do, rather than influence.

In Everybody Always, Bob Goff says, instead of telling people “what they want” (my words, what to do) tell them “who they are.”

“We’ll become in our lives whoever the people we love the most say we are.”

World’s Simplest Decision Matrix

/ Chuck Spicka

Years ago, my friend Augie Barker gave me a simple phrase as a decision matrix for opportunities:

“If you have a plan, and know the plan, you know what fits the plan.”

Saves me a lot of time, running new opportunities and choices thru this filter.

Just go talk to them

/ Chuck Spicka

When I first came back to Claris Networks, a customer gave me an earful about the performance of one of our project managers. I ran into one of our then owners offices (Dave Sagraves), vented, and asked for the name of this PMs manager so I could put the feedback where I thought it belonged. Or really, did I just want to blow someone up for no reason?

Dave challenged me, “Before you do that, have you just talked to the PM about it?”

Great advice. Once the PM and I talked, I understood the situation better, saw the issues our PM was tackling on the customers behalf, and was able to assist with bridging the communication gap for all of us.

So – when someone dumps on you about a peer, consider whether you’re hearing the whole story. Then love your teammate with direct communication. We all need good feedback and you can honor your co-worker by keeping it real (and safe) by giving the person a chance to hear it and respond.

“There are two sides to every story. The first one to speak sounds true until you hear the other side and they set the record straight.” Proverbs‬ ‭18:17‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Dr King quote

/ Chuck Spicka

“Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.”

– Dr Martin Luther King, from his speech, Beyond Vietnam