The last couple of weeks I’ve been sitting under teaching from Jeremy Caris at Abiding Glory here in Knoxville.  Jeremy’s been talking about how we can intentionally learn to listen for God’s voice, and then make use of this listening to strengthen and build into each other in love.

I’ve had the sense that I was hearing from God, and I’m passionate about the fact that all of us as believers hear from Him all the time, we just aren’t always expectant that this is the truth, or we aren’t looking for Him or really listening for Him.  At the same time, I have never had the experience of really hearing something specific for someone else, and I have been very skeptical of the abuse that I’ve seen around someone saying, “God told me this for you,” (when that’s sometimes been coming from a place of selfishness or a person’s desire to control another person).

So, last Wednesday night, Jeremy gave some teaching about how to practically ask God for insight, as he moved from the theology around the prophetic, to application in our day to day lives.  Thursday night, Jana and I had some friends over for a birthday party.  As everyone was leaving, we asked Beth to stick around so we could pray for her.  Jana started praying, and I remembered something Jeremy said.  Sometimes it’s helpful to just ask God, “give me one of the thoughts you have for this person” based on Psalm 139:17-18.  So I asked God that.

And then something crazy happened, that’s never happened for me.  As I was looking for God to speak to me for Beth, I saw a picture of a plate.  Well, wait, it’s not a plate, cause I see coffee on it, so it must be a saucer.  And then I saw a clown’s face, not a weird clown, but a pretty happy clown.  And that was it.  Hmm.  What in the world does that mean?

Jeremy had said, if you don’t understand, you might need to just talk it out, and to ask some questions.  So I asked Beth – “are you drinking a lot of caffeine?  Does a clown mean anything to you?”  We didn’t get very far, and I admit I was a little confused by it.

Then, next morning, half awake, God reminded me, “what was the question you asked me when you started praying for Beth?”  Oh that’s right, I asked you to give me one of your thoughts for her.  At that point, he showed me that a saucer generally goes with a cup, but that the cup was missing.  And the clown face, could that represent joy and rejoicing?  I believe at that point that God had given me revelation for Beth.  So I called her up and said, Beth – I think this is what God was showing me for you, that joy is missing for you right now in your walk, and that you may want to lean into that and go after the joy that He really has for you.

So – what’s this look like in your own walk?  Are you open to asking God for one of his thoughts about you, or about one of his thoughts for someone you’re praying for?  Do you have the expectancy that a conversational relationship could be a reality for you?  You may need to take some risks.  You may make some mistakes.  But as you move into it, I feel pretty confident that he’ll guide you into truth.  He said he would, and he’s pretty good at keeping his word.

Our great, great, great, great …. great grandfather Adam taught us well.  When God comes looking for him after the fall, asking him what happened, instead of answering God’s question, the man says, “the woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” (Gen 3:12)  And we’ve been blaming her every since.  If only she were more submissive, if only she were more agreeable, if only she wanted to have sex more often, if only she wasn’t so strong willed, if only she didn’t do this or that or whatever.

But check out verse 6 – the woman saw that the fruit was desirable, and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  (Thanks to Larry Crabb for that insight; it’s where I first heard it).  The man was the one responsible, and that’s as true for us now, regardless of the circumstances.

I can spend all my time blaming my wife, or I can take 100% responsibility for my life, my actions, my relationships.  If I’m going to see change in my life, it can start with me owning my stuff.  Blaming my wife is not going to help me get there.  Instead, how about I be the one to initiate resolution when she and I have conflict, that I be the pursuer in the relationship, as I learn to love her in the same way Jesus loves me?

According to Ken Nair, there are four male prejudices, or myths, that men have about women.  Ask just about any man, and you’ll gain agreement that “women are impossible to understand.”  Yet it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  As I believe it, I do the behavior that makes it a reality.  I look for evidence to confirm my presupposition.  And my relationship suffers because of it.

Did Jesus understand women?  How did he interact with the woman at the well?  How would you characterize his relationship with Martha, or Mary?  Can you find any evidence in the gospels to suggest that Jesus had any problem understanding women?

If we’ve been given the mind of Christ, and his spirit dwells in us, and he can understand women – what does that mean for us?  It means we can move into this with confidence, because we have him, and therefore, we can do all things through him who gives us strength (Php 4:13).

Proverbs 14:12 says,
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

What if, just about everything I think about women is wrong?  Would I want to know different?  What if there’s a way that seems right to me, but it’s leading to relational death, killing my marriage, damaging my wife, while the whole time I feign ignorance, shrug my shoulders, and act confused?  Would I want to learn how to live with my wife in an understanding way, as I’m commanded to in 1 Peter 3:7?

Ken Nair took this on in his book, Discovering the Mind of a Woman.  Over the next few days, we’ll look at four myths that men have regarding women, and how they’ve been playing out in our lives.

We’re all familiar with the parable of the sower (Matthew 13) – from Sunday school on we’ve heard it.  But I confess, I’ve been confused by it.  Is this about salvation?  And if so, can I lose my salvation?  Can it die?  Can it be choked out?  Do only some make it?

Look at what Jesus says in verse 11 – “the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you.”  The parable, then, is really about my response to the message of the kingdom: God’s effective rule in the midst of my circumstances, in my real life right now, a new way, his life in me and my life in him.  It’s not about me believing a specific set of theology answers that will guarantee my ticket into an event or place sometime later, somewhere far away.  It’s about a different way of living, expectantly, full of hope and belief, a complete change of mind based on truth, knowledge and facts, here and now.

A kingdom has laws, laws that govern, but also laws that bring freedom, as much as the law of lift and thrust brings with it freedom from the law of gravity.

The parable, then, isn’t so much about the intake of facts that would cause me to be “saved,” but rather, about my response to the message of the kingdom, of a new life here and now, and what my results will be based on my response.  Not just, do I believe it, but is this message changing me?  I could be “saved”, but miss this kingdom life all together, as birds eat it off the path.  I could get a taste of it, but end up a flash in the pan, bailing as soon as things got hard.  I could quit because of the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of wealth, choking out kingdom life and making it unfruitful – i.e., choosing my earthly kingdom over the kingdom of the heavens.  Or, I could take on this message of the kingdom, and see real life, real fruit bear out “a hundred times, sixty times, thirty times what was sown.”

I don’t know where I head from here, but I want more.  If there’s a different reality available to me now, if the secrets of the kingdom have been given to me, then, thank you, I’ll take that.  Open my heart to you, Jesus.  Lead the way.

Dallas Willard has a new book – Knowing Christ Today: why we can trust spiritual knowledge.

On page 45-46, he’s responding to James’ comments about the double-minded person referenced in James 1:8.

Willard says:

What is going on here?  Is it that God is simply punishing people for having doubts?  Is he saying, ‘Naughty, naughty! I will give you nothing’?  That hardly fits with the picture here of God as generous and unreproachful.  So there must be something else involved.  I suggest that the problem is not on the giving side, but on the receiving side.  Because the “double-minded” are, as we say, “on again, off again,” they are not able to receive what they are asking for.  They are unable to act upon it.  One day or hour they are asking God for wisdom, and the next day or hour they are relying on themselves or others.  While they are asking God, they have in the corner of their mind the thought that God isn’t going to give them what they need, so they must take care of themselves.  They are really relying on two different and incompatible things.  And when they are trying to get wisdom on their own, they are thinking about the possibility of God giving it to them.  On both sides they are undercut by their inner uncertainty about the reliability of God and God’s goodwill toward them…  It cannot succeed.  One must “hold still” to receive the wisdom requested.

My wife, Jana, would say the dilemma is “we dream with an excuse in each pocket.”  How single minded are you?  Do you have a Plan B, if God should fail you?  Could your Plan B actually be affecting your Plan A – to follow God whole-heartedly and trust him with all of it?

A man’s own folly ruins his life,
yet his heart rages against the LORD.

Proverbs 19:3

So many times I want to blame circumstances, other people, and ultimately God for the messes that I find myself in.  And yet, I’m 100% responsible.  His goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life; at the same time, I need and want to follow him as closely as I can.

Lord, what do you have to say?
That you are loved.
What else?
That I got you, and it’s going to be OK.

We had that conversation as we were looking at the snow this morning in Knoxville.  Nate Wilson has some cool thoughts about snow in Notes From the Tilt a Whirl .  (Check his book out for more, maybe the start of chapter 2?) Every snow flake is unique.  But God’s just a show off.  I can make billions of these, and every one’s different.

I’m watching a flake hit my windshield, melt, then disappear in an instant.  “If,” he says to me, “I have this much creativity, care and interest in something that disappears in a moment, what do you think I think about your current issues, when I’ve designed you for eternal companionship with me?  Do you think your stuff is pretty simple for me?  I’m holding it all together.  Rest in me.  I got you.”

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG)

“But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.” (2 Thes 2:13 NIV)

I hear a lot of people emphasizing salvation, and acting like life in Christ here and now is not that important, or not nearly as important as simply “getting in” (saved) and being able to explain how and why you’ve got your Heavenly 401(k).  Is mental assent enough?  I look at this verse, and would argue that it says that salvation is more of a package deal. We often think of Salvation and Sancification as two separate things, but this verse ties them together.  What would make a person think they belonged to Jesus if they had absolutely no desire, or even an inkling of a motivation, to spend time with him here?

In a men’s group last night, I heard a guy talk about how he always wanted to be like William Wallace in Braveheart. He wants adventure, he wants to lead men into battle, he wants to be respected as a man and as a warrior.

And right as he said it I thought, I want to be like the priest in The Count of Monte Cristo, leading people into self-discovery and learning, giving them the tools they need to set themselves free from the things that have held them back.

Who would you rather be and why?

Jana and I have noticed a bunch of marriages around us that seem to be hanging on by a thread.  People that are staying put because of a sense of duty or obligation, but have no sense of hope or joy or expectation that they can ever be happy again with their current spouse.  They want things to be different, but they don’t know how to get there, or when they begin to make effort, they feel like everything they do ends up ticking off their spouse.  Is this what marriage is supposed to be like?  Is this all there is?  If so, why do people do this to themselves.  Meanwhile, if you’re going to stay, there has to be a better way.  If Jesus said he came to give life to the full, how do we move into that in our marriage?

We are meeting with a group of couples at the end of January 2009, in what we’re calling a marriage “intensive”.  Maybe a weekend away, to pray, to be strenghtened, to be given a sense of hope, will be good for all of us.  Keep you posted on how it goes.