I read a fair amount of recovery literature both before and after the 18 days, met with counselors, went to a bunch of groups, worked through the 12 steps, the steps to freedom in Christ, and more, all helpful.  While there’s value in all the different books, theories and practices designed to set guys free from porn, there was one thing that stood out from the rest.

In the early 2000s, I was in a weekly class led by John Dee.  One night John was teaching about how God changes people’s names in scripture, and talked about the promise of a name given in Revelation 2:17 – “I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.”  John challenged, “Ask God for your name.  Let’s do it right now.”

I was beyond skeptical about this.
I decided to do what John asked anyway, even if he was crazy.
And, immediately, I heard – Faithful.

I was still in the thick of acting out.  Something was stirring in me spiritually for sure, but I was so far from being what I would call Faithful.  I was weak and half-hearted, with little desire to actually be free, hanging on to the addiction.  I was still lying and manipulating and coping to make my world work with Jana.  The word that God used, this new name, was not what I would have called me.

And yet.  As I argued with God about how wrong he was about this name Faithful, he began to argue back that this is the way he saw me, and that he knew he would get me there.  Yes, actualization of this promise took another decade, but that was my problem and not his.  I had to see myself differently, I needed a different identity that would drive new belief and thus new behavior.  Shame and condemnation weren’t getting me there.  God’s confidence in me and the hope and grace he extended, were what I needed.

Take a risk.  Ask God for your name.  It may be your greatest fuel for change.