My youngest daughter Charis was going thru some tough times late last fall.  She’s a verbal processor.  I would watch as she worked out her feelings with Jana, both trading a few sentences, frankly, as women do so well to confirm clarity, empathy and connection.

Then I tried it.  You know, you just throw in a few words when there’s a gap.  “Stop interrupting me,” Charis said.  “Hmm,” I thought, “I just did what they did.”  They’d continue talking, I’d see another gap, and then, “Stop interrupting her,” Jana would say.

I was really confused.  I could not see what I was doing.  I took it back to Jesus.  “If two women I love and trust are telling me I’m interrupting them, then I need you to show me what I’m doing here.”

And this next part was awful.  I learned that I was interrupting women across the board – women who lead companies and medical practices that are my customers, women who are strong and resourceful and are my peers at work, women I respect who are connected to our ministry and love others so well.  Ouch.  And I would tell you that I honor women and I’m an advocate.

I went back to Charis after this discovery and thanked her for her courage to call me out and shared what I learned in the process.  My lesson?  Mind the Gap.  Waiting for my chance to blurt out a quick fix to someone’s problem, or whatever it is I think that’s more important than what they’re saying, does not build connection or honor my sisters.