Our great, great, great, great …. great grandfather Adam taught us well.  When God comes looking for him after the fall, asking him what happened, instead of answering God’s question, the man says, “the woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” (Gen 3:12)  And we’ve been blaming her every since.  If only she were more submissive, if only she were more agreeable, if only she wanted to have sex more often, if only she wasn’t so strong willed, if only she didn’t do this or that or whatever.

But check out verse 6 – the woman saw that the fruit was desirable, and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  (Thanks to Larry Crabb for that insight; it’s where I first heard it).  The man was the one responsible, and that’s as true for us now, regardless of the circumstances.

I can spend all my time blaming my wife, or I can take 100% responsibility for my life, my actions, my relationships.  If I’m going to see change in my life, it can start with me owning my stuff.  Blaming my wife is not going to help me get there.  Instead, how about I be the one to initiate resolution when she and I have conflict, that I be the pursuer in the relationship, as I learn to love her in the same way Jesus loves me?